Together or Apart?

Best Friends Forever!

I ran into this very informative article that shows an infographic about the latest research on how multiples do in school when either in the same class room or in separate class rooms. This is a very hot topic among parents of multiples and for a while now I've been feeling guilty that I cared so little about the topic even though I think a lot about life after the boys go off to school. The reason I felt guilty is because I want to keep my boys together as long as possible so that I don't have to deal with three different teachers and three different sets of homework packets each night. Yes I'm selfish and want to take the easy road (see, sometimes it is easier to have multiples!). Over and over again I hear the argument about multiples needing to be separated in school so that they become individuals and less co-dependent. It makes sense but still, I don't want to deal with three different sets of homework every night!

So, along comes this article Twins in the Classroom and now I feel like I have a clearer view of things. If you don't feel like reading it, I will summarize the main points:

1. Multiples separated early had more anxiety and emotional distress than those kept in the same classroom. And that this is especially true of IDENTICAL multiples. (red flag for me!)

2. Multiples separated had LOWER reading scores than those kept in the same classroom.

Fraternal vs Identical

1. Identical multiples separated in school showed higher levels of depression, anxiety, social withdrawal  and other internalizing problems.

2. Identical multiples when separated at age 7 had poorer reading abilities.

3. Fraternal multiples separated after one year in school together worked harder in school than those kept together

 It just goes to show what a special and unique bond identical multiples have and that it is a different kind of bond than those seen in fraternal multiples (and of course frat multiples share a unique bond that is different from fraternal siblings).

I read all of the sources that were used to write this article and found an insightful quote about the argument of separating multiples so they become individuals,

…”Many people may think this might be micro-parenting . . . but this idea that twins won’t be individuals if they stay in the same classroom is so misguided and not based on research,” said Nancy L. Segal, a psychology professor and director of the Twins Studies Center at California State University, Fullerton. (taken from here)

This argument has always bothered me a little since the same thing can be said about sharing the same room. Are your children doomed for life because you can't afford a house with more rooms? Or what of kids who are home schooled, are they doomed too? I'm very glad to hear it has no real basis and is contrary to what research has found.

And another one of the sources argues this:

"There's research that suggests that when friends are in the same class, they're more exploratory, they cling to the teacher less,"..."So if we're worried about individuality, why do we let best friends go to school together?"(taken from here)

At least for me that seals the deal and I feel better about feeling the way I felt before. I want to keep my boys in the same classroom at least until they are old enough to tell me they want to be separated or when they start middle school, whichever comes first. At the moment I don't feel like my guys are overly co-dependent of each other and love to go places with mom and dad one on one. Of course I can't see into the future so if there are issues that need to be addressed that would be solved by separating them I would definitely consider it, we all know our children the best so it's certainly up to the parents to make the decisions that they feel are right regardless of what research shows.