|Multiples Illuminated the sequel!|
Read my review to the first book, click here.
Helpful tips, funny stories, deferring perspectives and opinions. That's right, more of the good stuff from the first book! There was bit too much poetry for my taste but I can over look it because I found the content very enlightening. My kids are still quite young and we have a long road ahead of us, so thank you for this.
I loved the explanation that things don't really get easier, it's just different. It's a hard fact to accept but it's true. While it's not physically as exhausting as being up all night feeding babies or changing 9-12 poopy diapers a day. But now we're faced with the mentally and emotionally exhausting tasks of trying to settle arguments and fights were sometimes no one will fess up who started first. Or keeping the fairness/equal balance in check. ALL DAY LONG. Like seriously who care's who went through the door way first! I'm constantly reiterating "life is not fair, get used to it...do you see me crying because the neighbor has a nicer car than I do?!" But I loved what another contributor wrote "Fair does not mean equal; it means everyone is getting what they need." I'm adding this to my arsenal of sayings and will use it every chance I get!
I also LOVED the author who pointed out my pet peeve, the idea that modern psychology views the twin/triplet/etc bond as some kind of disease which the children must be cured of. All the recommendations suggest that if a twin/triplet is to be an individual you must not dress them the same, not have them in the same class room, not have them in the same sports or activities, not share the same bedroom, etc, etc. This notion simply infuriates me. I've seen my kids blossom into distinct individuals despite pretty much sharing everything right down to their underwear. Like an unstoppable force they have become different persons with different personalities all by the age of 6. But in reality, they've always been different. Following through on all these recommendations is unfeasible, unpractical and financially unattainable to MOST families. As the same author pointed out, her method is to simply provide a loving and supportive environment. With this she has seen her twins share a strong bond all the while being their own persons. This is my aim in parenting too. It was very interesting how she also talked about an anthropologist (& identical twin) who wrote that, "identical twins actually have a more finely developed awareness of their uniqueness than do singletons." "Having an identical twin does not compromise one's self at all- instead, each twin enriches both the self and the other." LOVE LOVE this!
After reading this book I got the notion to ask my kids a couple questions, it's been a long time coming. I've asked them the first question many times and up until now they've never known why people mix them up. They've had to learn or be convinced that they look the same. For the second question I wanted to see if it mattered to them. They all answered the second question the same, I like to think it's because they know they are their own person, an individual. They've always known this and do not need convincing otherwise : )
Here is what Eli, Caleb, and Thomas have to say (please excuse Eli's cutesie voice, he was in some sort of mood, haha)...